Author: Farzana Suri, Victory Coach
(Asian Independent)- Raisa was sitting beside me, all excited to give the speech of her lifetime. She had rehearsed it over a hundred times. The emcee announced her name and began her introduction. She gave me a nervous look and I gave her a double thumbs up, mouthing, “go for it!”. She walked to the podium to the resounding claps and hooting from the audience. I was so happy for her – I was a part of the speaker panel, speaking along with Raisa for an event on women empowerment.
She cleared her throat to speak. She repeated herself 4-5 times. She started again and gave me fleeting looks as if seeking reassurance. She began confidently a few seconds later. Throughout the talk, I noticed her wiping her brows and upper lip. Her voice sounded heavy and slow. Twenty minutes went by. The audience seemed distracted and she stammered a few times. Her talk ended and she barely waited for the applause and rushed out.
When the networking began, my eyes searched for her and I found her sitting in a corner where the air-conditioning was like the sitting on an iceberg in Alaska. I asked, “Are you alright?” She nodded, “Yes, it’s…I don’t know how to tell you.” She whispered, “I’m going through menopause…”
I said, “It’s okay, we all will go through it one day. Part of life, right?”
What she said, later stumped me! She implored, “Please, don’t tell anyone! Please.”
It recalled an interview I’d seen of Gwyneth Paltrow where she quoted, “I think menopause gets a really bad rap and needs a bit of a rebranding. I don’t think we have in our society a great example of an aspirational menopausal woman.”
It rings true, doesn’t it?
According to the Indian Menopause Society (IMS), the country has 150 million women living with menopause. The average age of menopause is 46.2 years and globally, it’s 51.
Imagine being at the height of your career as a women leader and you experience all the symptoms of menopause.
Menopause symptoms are both physical and psychological and have an impact on work, and there is, little women can do about it.
Some of the commonly reported symptoms affecting women are:
– poor concentration due to hot flushes
– reduced memory and brain fog
– low mood, anxiety and depression
– decreased confidence
– exhaustion and fatigue due to disturbed sleep/insomnia
Women experience all of this, and are yet required to be on top of their game because menopause, is tabooer as a subject than menstruation.
Do you recall anyone talking about these symptoms to anyone at home? We have working mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins – no one speaks of it.
I do not remember any of my women bosses and co-workers mentioning menopause at work.
Menopause is a difficult time for women, and it can be even more difficult for women in the workplace. Their bodies are changing, they’re not feeling as strong as they once did, and they often feel like they’re losing their identities and being replaced by someone else. Women who are in the workplace can feel even more vulnerable than usual.
Menopause is known to increase stress levels and make it harder for women to deal with the everyday stresses at work. Women mask what they are going through and are not talking about menopause in the workplace.
Why?
It’s not that they don’t want to talk about it, but it’s more like they’re afraid of what might come up if they did. What if you tell your boss that you’re having trouble coming into work because of your hormones and then he says something disparaging about your hormones?
What if you tell him that you’re taking a leave of absence because of it and then he gets offended and doesn’t believe you?
Menopause has a way of keeping women silent. It is the fear of the stigma linked to it, the lack of awareness and I’d wager, they have no idea who to talk to about this condition because no one mentions this transition.
Women in leadership invisibles this for fear that they will be considered past their prime or even irrelevant, especially when they are at their peak or cusp of their careers. The added pressure of trying to cover up or compensate; of feeling afraid of being judged or rejected and not taken, seriously adds to increasing stress levels, fear and anxiety.
The good news is that there are ways to help make it easier for women to cope with menopause at work!
Here are some things you can do as Managers:
1. First of all, listen carefully when employees talk about their feelings and concerns. Look for ways to help/provide support when needed.
2. Encourage your employees to speak openly about their experiences with menopause and how it’s affected them personally. Don’t jump to conclusions.
3. Raise awareness by investing in training to educate and sensitise managers and co-workers
4. Have an open dialogue about what resources are available to help your employees through this time of transition in their lives— such as books, groups, and seminars.
5. Provide flexible working arrangements during this challenging time.
6. Make space for reasonable adjustments e.g., allowing additional breaks, desk fans, etc.
7. Make sure everyone is aware of what’s happening and why; to avoid misunderstandings or uncomfortable situations caused by miscommunication between co-workers.
8. Create a menopause policy.
Recognising menopause as a serious issue can help organisations foster a culture of inclusivity where women do not feel discriminated and their contributions are valued. Bias can lead to productivity losses, dilute your company’s culture, impact profits, and impair the brand. How you deal with this subject can affect how all work together and how you get the most out of the talent. Acknowledging conversations around menopause is as important as having a menstrual policy.
In conclusion I’d like to quote, Trisha Posner who said, “Our mothers were largely silent about what happened to them as they passed through this midlife change. But a new generation of women has already started to break the wall of silence.”
Let’s talk.
Farzana Suri is a Victory Coach from Mumbai, India and coaches you to move from confusion to clarity in life and business. She can be reached on surifarzana@gmail.com
